REPORT: CDC and ADA Offer New Disease Definitions

The Courant-Grunion

(Est’d 1988)

REPORT: CDC and ADA Offer New Disease Definitions

By Sally Mann-Duhr

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC), in conjunction with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) announced sweeping new disease definitions, including several new diseases that will fall under ADA guidelines as “Protected Illnesses.”

Leading the list are “Chronic Hypochondria” and “Terminal Hypochondria.”

“There are a lot of people who think they’re sick out there, and then their illness is dismissed by medical professionals because they don’t have classic, traditional symptoms,” said Andre Schweinfluberger, Associate Sub-Director of the CDC. “These people have watched every episode of House and then started feeling ill. Just because they don’t have something that’s treatable by medicine doesn’t mean they’re not sick.”

Chronic Hypochondria is defined as: “a sense that one has a disease or diseases as determined by third parties (Television, Web M.D., friends and family, etc) that cannot be proven, disproven or treated by conventional means.” Chronic Hypochondria sufferers will now be able to receive help from medical professionals.

“Probably the biggest problem is that Hypochondriacs receive placebos and the assurance that their problems will go away,” said Marcia Medlund, CDC/ADA liaison. “Now we can address the problem with actual medications that will help assuage the fears of these chronic sufferers, and also offer ADA protection so they can’t lose their jobs over too many missed days of work from chronic hypochondria.”

Terminal Hypochondria is defined as: “a sense that one has a disease or diseases as determined by their own feeling of dread. These people with stop at nothing to treat the diseases, even if it means overdosing on drugs that are not meant to treat hypochondria or any other disease they may have.”

One such case was the sad tale of the late Science Fiction guru Robert Piers David, who overdosed on 81 mg Aspirin and Fireball to treat what he thought was “kidney worms” in his kidneys. Kidney worms were a creature David created in the novel Once More Over the Cuckoo World (Random Shack, 1962.) The parasite reappeared in the sequel Again over the Cuckoo World, This Time With Feeling (Bantham DelRoy, 1968.)

David’s final novel Fuzzy Interpretations in a Fractal World (Tor-Rey Pines, 2016) will be released in February of next year, completely unedited (in order to fulfill a contract obligation.)

Other diseases included in this sweeping change are: Video Game addiction (with ADA backing, one can no longer be terminated for playing video/computer/phone games on the clock;) Chronic Tardiness at Work; Laughing at inappropriate Jokes (LAIJ) Syndrome; and Addictive Meme-Posting.

COURANT-GRUNION: Lawmakers Pass New Communication Bill

The Courant-Grunion

(Est’d 1988)

Lawmakers Pass New Electronic Communication Bill

By Sally Mann-Duhr

A sweeping electronic-communication bill cleared the House of Representatives and will be placed before the U.S. Senate early next week if all goes according to plan.

The primary focus of the “Electronic Communication Accountability Bill (HR 8675309)” is to prevent people from typing or texting “LOL” or similar “Lol” and “ROTFL” and various subsets of the same.

“It’s very distressing when you find out that somebody really isn’t laughing out loud at your comment,” Representative Kyle Doss (D-Ind.) said after the announcement. “I’ll send a Minion meme to someone and get an LOL in a time frame almost faster than they could’ve read it.”

One side-effect of a falsified “LOL” would be a small fine, with each subsequent charge being higher.

“Most cell phones and computers have cameras now,” Doss said. “Maybe we can have phones get has something like a ‘LOL-App’ that maybe takes a quick picture of your expression as you send a ‘LOL’ to somebody. Say you're not actually smiling or laughing, you could be in a world of hurt.”

Doss stated that this function of the law is still in its planning stages.

Representative Richard Winkie (R-Wyo.) said he accidentally sent a nude photo of himself to an intern and got a “ROTFLOL” seconds later.

“That’s just more than a man can take,” he said. “There was a time when that sort of mistake would be a scandal, but now it’s just a joke!”

The primary focus of the bill is to create a new “LLOL” or “Literally Laughing out Loud” to give more value to the “-OL” family. However, there are also provisions to increase the stakes.

“One possibility is for people to respond with a SnapChat of themselves actually laughing,” Winkie said. “In my case, that might have helped, or it might be more painful, too. But it’s there either way.”

There is also a monetary value: The House Bill makes provisions for a large stipend if service providers come up with a means of “Un-Sending” a text (or photograph) if you realize your mistake within a few seconds.

“That’ll be huge,” Winkie said.

The bill faces an uphill battle with the Senate, although with the recent scandalous “$5 footlong” joke text mass-sent by Senator Harry Lessenham (D-ND) it might gain steam quickly.

Courant Grunion: Government Scientist's Credentials Investigated

The Courant-Grunion

(Est’d 1988)

Government Scientist’s Credentials Investigated

By Trevor N. Deavor

What started as an off-hand comment by the President has turned into a thorough investigation of a leading government scientist. The results of the investigation bring the very concept government appointments into question.

Dr. Simon Unglaub received scrutiny after releasing questionable results from a government-funded climate change study. Unglaub, a vocal critic of the effects of climate change and global warming, released results that suggested (in the words of the study) that “everything’s fine, and we don’t need to worry about climate change or this supposed concept of global warming.”

When President Obama received the report, a hand-written seven page document (with two hand-drawn infographics that were done on Denny’s napkins,) the world leader commented, “Where’d this guy get his degree, a Cracker Jack box?”

Vice President Joe Biden joined in, saying maybe the man’s diploma was printed on a truck stop toilet-seat cover. Former Vice President Al Gore also read the report, questioned its authenticity, and then pointed out that it wasn’t published on recycled paper.

Senator :Mike McCoffin (R-Maine) and Senator Lindsay Holtzman (D-Wyoming), co-chairpersons of the Senate Committee for Acceptance or Denial of Climate Change both read the report and then ordered an investigation of Unglaub.

“It was embarrassing,” Holtzman, a staunch believer in global warming, said in a press conference. “This so-called ‘doctor’ Unglaub is a holdover from the Bush 43 administration, and he’s been a thorn in my side for more than a decade.”

“We had to investigate him,” McCoffin said. “Once the POTUS questions the authenticity of a man’s credentials, we have to investigate. Especially if Cracker Jacks are implicated.”

Unglaub’s Doctorate was supposedly earned from “Bill and Mary University,” a non-existent entity. From there, investigators followed up with each diploma on Unglaub’s office wall.

In addition to his fake doctorate, he did not receive a Master of Business Arts degree from “Los Angeles State Univeristy at Denver,” nor did he receive his Bachelor of Arts degree from “The University of Coeur D’Alene at Kansas City.”

“This is a black eye for government science,” ‘Doctor’ Kenny Bunkport said. “You get the president calling a doctorate a Cracker Jacks prize and it all collapses like a house of cards.”

Bunkport said the entire agency and Senate Sub-sub-sub committee is in turmoil.

“Now we’re all being investigated, and God only knows what these investigators will turn up,” he said. “They even questioned my Master’s degree from Texas S&M.”

Presently, even Unglaub’s General Equivalency Diploma (GED) from Sauerbraten Online Community College is under scrutiny.

According to Wikipedia, Cracker Jacks stopped issuing diplomas and doctorates after the 1977 scandal involving doctors transplanting food from one patient’s stomach to another.

NTSB Study: Texting-While-Driving No Longer Top Cause of Phone/Car Death

The Courant-Grunion                        (Est. 1988)

NTSB Report: Texting-While-Driving No Longer No. 1 Cause of Phone-Related Traffic Fatalities

By Trevor N. Deavor

The National Traffic Safety Board released new Traffic Fatality statistics for the first half of 2015 on Friday. This study provided an in-depth analysis of Phone-Related Traffic Deaths from Jan. 1 through June 30, 2015.

“Phone-related traffic deaths are sky-rocketing,” NTSB Spokesman Simon Hoche-Weg said, reading a pre-written statement. “But Texting-While-Driving and simply talking on the phone are no longer the primary factors. Texting fell to number seven on the list, while talking on the phone dropped from the top ten altogether.

This year, the number one cause of Phone-Related driving deaths is “Liking and Sharing” blessings either from Jesus, or promises of money, edging out the nearly-as popular “Liking” memes in support of President Obama. Anti-Obama Meme-liking came in a close third place.

“People are using their phones for everything from online shopping to uploading videos while they’re driving,” Hoche-Weg said. “This is becoming something of an epidemic.”

According to the Hoche-Weg, the most frequent texted or posted comment that winds up being somebody’s last is “Lol.”

“The worst part about this is, they don’t even take the time to make the 'LOL' all-caps,” said Belinda Sharon, director of Moms Against Cellular Devices Allowing Death and Dismemberment of Youth (MACDADDY.) “If you’re going to die for your text, at least go out with class.”

Sharon said she hopes to implement Death-While-Texting etiquette courses at all community colleges by next Spring Quarter.

"America needs to be number one at something, and proper Text-techniques while dying seems like a good place to start," she said.

The following are the top ten ways people die while driving and using their phones from 1/1/15 to 6/30/15.

#1  Liking and Sharing a blessing                                                                                1,045,221

#2  Liking a Pro-Obama Meme                                                                                    1,022,159

#3  Liking an Anti-Obama Meme                                                                                1,009,566

#4  Tweeting a “Driver Selfie”                                                                                        988,134

#5  SnapChatting yourself singing along to Justin Bieber                                              887,622

#6  Downloading a song you just heard on the radio                                                      672,421

#7  Texting-While-Driving (80% “Lol.”)                                                                        528,425

#8  Playing Words-With-Friends/Trivia Crack/Candy Crush                                         465,883

#9  Google-Searching the word “Side Boob” or “Under Boob”                                     446,785

#10  Deleting History of recent Google Searches                                                           389,799

Military School Hijinks Get Bloody

The Courant-Grunion  (Est. 1988)

 

Military School Hijinks Get Bloody

By Trevor N. Deavor

Charges are pending at the Confederate Armory Military Academy (CAMA) in Tecumseh, Tennessee after a food fight left one person dead, two paralyzed and six injured.

The Robert E. Lee memorial Café-Tori-Asium became a veritable battleground after what appears to have been an innocent initial volley.

Junior Year CAMA Cadet Derrick Douglas Lincoln was practicing opening remarks for an upcoming debate when he pounded his fist on his table to make a point. This demonstrative action accidentally launched a spoonful of approximately twenty raisins across the Café-Tori-Asium.

“I was prepping for my debate,” Lincoln said. “I had a salient point, and I remembered an instructor suggesting that sometimes it really helps to get physical in your speeches. I banged my fist on the table, but I forgot that I’d been picking raisins from my Raisin Bran and storing them on my coffee spoon.”

The raisin-and-Caramel Macchiato mixture flew across the combination mess hall/auditorium/gymnasium and landed at another table occupied by Sophomore Cadet Fred Sumter, who was working on a his semester-final Computer-Aided Drafting project proving that the USS Enterprise-D could, in fact, exist and challenge a Borg invasion.

“As soon as that slimy-raisin mixture hit my monitor, I just lost it,” Sumter said, from his hospital bed in the CAMA infirmary. “I stood up and shouted ‘who @#%& did that?’ and, of course, nobody admitted guilt.”

Sumter, whose left leg was broken in six places, is in traction for at least six weeks. This bodes poorly for CAMA, as he is the star running back for the CAMA football team, the Flages.

“Anyway, I knew it had to be one of the seniors from the team, because they’ve been hazing me all season,” Sumter continued. “I figured it had to be Vic Street, because he’s been the biggest bully on the team.”

Sumter refers to Senior Cadet Victor Lange-Street, an Offensive Lineman for the Flages. Lange-Street was sitting a few tables away from Sumter, facing away from the young cadet. Sumter launched a counter-strike of Potatoes O’Brien and Scrambled Eggs.

“How was I supposed to know he was allergic to red peppers?” Sumter sobbed. “How was I supposed to know his Epi-Pen was expired?”

From there the fight got ugly. Tables were overturned and lines were drawn.

“As soon as I heard somebody shout ‘FOOD FIGHT!’ I grabbed my 3X5 cards and booked it out of there,” Lincoln confessed. “I never knew I’d started the fight until I was called into the police station and show surveillance video of the whole thing.”

“I never knew,” he said, as tears began to form in his eyes. Currently, Lincoln is held in Bharfokopee County jail pending further investigation.

All manner of foodstuff (except bacon, which nobody would throw) was hurled from either side at the other. Mostly, food splashed harmlessly onto the opposing side’s table-fortress walls. That’s when some Cadet Combat Engineering Corps cadets got some bright ideas.

“I was thinking, this is pointless,” Junior Cadet Johann Braun said. “It’s just food splatting all over the place. That’s when I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a fifty pound sack of potatoes.”

Braun and some of his CCEC partners had been experimenting with potato cannons, and all they needed was potatoes.

With the stakes increased, and several dozen windows shattered, everything seemed to favor the side with the high-powered weaponry.

Unfortunately, although they were pinned down by cannon fire, the cadets on the other side of the Café-tori-asium included several Cadet-Specialists whose primary focus was chemical and biological warfare.

Freshman Cadet Specialist Mace Blansky dodged potato fire and ran to the kitchen for a five pound jar of crushed red peppers and a food processor. His roommate, Joshua E. Cohlye came back with twenty pounds of raw ground beef.

Blansky ground the peppers into a fine dust and, using a portable fan, filled the opposite side of the room with a caustic dust storm of pepper powder. Unfortunately, for young Lange-Street, this proved too much. Between the Anaphylaxis O’Brien and this new onslaught, the young running back never recovered.

Meanwhile, Cohlye began throwing handfuls of raw meat into the crowd of choking cadets. Cohlye was eventually taken down by a potato to the spine. He is currently in intensive care, but is paralyzed. Doctors are unsure he’ll ever walk again.

A stray potato hit a fire-suppression sprinklerhead, flooding the entire room and creating an inadvertent cease fire.

“Never before in the storied history of this institution has anything of this magnitude occurred,” Headmaster Commandant Shilaugh N. Teetum said in an issued statement. “While we are saddened at the loss of Cadet Lange-Street, and injuries to so many of our residents, we may take one positive from this incident.

“The off-the-cuff tactics and weaponry used by our resourceful students is a tribute to the nature of this institution, and the Food Fight of 2015 will be analyzed for years to come.”

Screen Time: Marvel vs. DC

by PJ Creelman

(This blog was originally posted on MoviePilot.com)

(Author's note: for the sake of simplicity, DC's predecessors National/All-American Comics will be referred to as "DC," and Marvel's predecessors Timely/Atlas will be referred to as Marvel.)
As a lifelong comic-lover whose collecting days date back to the early 1970s, the last twelve years of Comic Book Cinema and Television have been nothing short of nerd-gasmic for me. One thing I frequently hear is how "Marvel's kicking DC's butt" with their cinematic universe, and how, aside from the Dark Knight trilogy, DC movies can' t hold a candle to Marvel's (if you'll pardon the pun) Juggernaut of motion silver screen offerings.
And I'm just talking superhero stuff here!

I grew up on reruns George Reeves' rendition of Superman and Adam West's Batman, spending countless hours in the back yard with a towel tied around my neck, pretending to protect the neighborhood from ne'er-do-wells and costumed criminals. I got it in my head that somehow, Superman could fly because he wore a cape. (I assumed that Batman just opted to not fly, but obviously, he also posessed the ability because he was also a cape-wearer.)

Rounds 1-3 (1950s -1970s)

In 1978, I was completely blown away when Superman burst onto the big screen with Roger and Ilya Salkind's Superman: The Movie. Christopher Reeve's rendition of Superman was so much greater than anything I'd seen before. Superman's powers were incredible, as were the special effects! One of the most memorable advertising lines was "you will believe a man can fly." I really did!
Just a year earlier, I'd fallen in love with a story set "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." and George Lucas' tome really set a new standard for the "wow factor" in cinematic storytelling. Superman had its sci-fi elements, but it also was primarily set on present day Earth with Kal-El's flashy blue, red and yellow tights. The first installment in the Superman movie series set a new standard for superhero movies.

Ads said "You will believe a man can fly." We did.

Prior to the Superman movie, the only big-screen appearances by Marvel or DC heroes were in weekly serials in the1940s (Superman, Batman and Captain America had runs,) and the 1966 Big-Screen Batman, which was released between the first and second seasons of the Television show of the same name. Adam West and Burt Ward's portrayal of the Dynamic Duo, while campy and almost satirical at times, still created an iconic memory.
In the 1970s, DC also launched Lynda Carter's Wonder Woman. Princess Diana busily lassoed dastardly Nazis and mind-controlling magicians, fighting sasquatches and aliens each week for three years. (I can't be the only person who had a pre-adolescent crush on Ms. Carter.)

Long before Amazon, there was "the" Amazon.

Since his disappearance in the '50s, Fawcett's Captain Marvel had suffered the ultimate disgrace for a comic book hero: loss of trademark. As soon as Cap's trademark expired, Marvel comics snatched up the naming rights. DC had acquired the rights to Captain Marvel, but had to rename the character Shazam for trademark purposes. In the stories he could be Captain Marvel, but on the comic book covers (and the title of a short-lived Saturday Morning live-action television show) he had to be called Shazam.
I watched Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk and Shazam faithfully week in and week out.

Rounds 1-3 (1950s-1970s) Scorecard:

To keep tally, DC characters seemed to control the prime time airwaves from the 1950s to the mid-1970s. Marvel finally started landing blows on the small screen with The Incredible Hulk, but DC had established itself both on broadcast television and in movie theatres with Batman and Superman.
Both companies had success with televised animated versions of their characters, but cartoons typically were dismissed as "for children."

Hulk SMASH competition!

Round 4 (1980s)

For better or worse, three more Superman films reached filmgoers, as did an unsuccessful Supergirl production in 1984 ( Budget: $35 million. Gross: $14.5 million. (In my local theatre, a billboard advertised "Supergirl-Coming 11/21." Beneath that, it advertised what would they would be showing 11/28.))
After Superman's "Quest for Peace," comic book movies became a rarity, although George Lucas took a break from his "Galaxy far, far away..." to bring brought us Howard the Duck. (I stood in line to see that one. I STOOD IN LINE TO SEE THAT ONE!)
Aside from a cameo by the Silver Surfer in a semi-lucid dream sequence in Breathless, Howard the Duck was the first Marvel character to appear on the big screen in decades. Not since the original Captain America serials (which eventually re-titled and re-released a few years after their first ) had Marvel been represented on the silver screen.
Marvel spent some energy on small-screen characters, with animated Fantastic Four and Spider-Man shows, and live-action attempts at Captain America and Spider-Man. (Spider-Man also made appearances in PBS's Electric Company. The gimmick was that Spidey's dialogue was always comic-style word balloons.)
The Incredible Hulk had a relatively successful run from 1978 to 1982, followed by a handful of made-for-television movies in the late '80s which introduced Thor and Daredevil to the Hulk-iverse, culminating in The Death of the Incredible Hulk in 1990. ***SPOILER ALERT: Hulk falls to his death from an airplane.***
DC started to slow down in its multimedia kingdom. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Supergirl were nothing short of disastrous. Superman forced peace upon the world by destroying all nuclear weapons, but was tricked into hurling a sample of his own DNA into the sun with one of the payloads. This resulted in a sun-powered clone coming back to haunt Supes. (The clone went dormant in darkness, although somehow, his round-the-globe battle with Superman never put him in night time.)

"Boy, I brought you into this world..."

After a short breather, DC took a shot on their second most iconic character.
In 1989, Tim Burton brought his unique storytelling perspective on the scene with the wildly-successful Batman starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. While difficult to watch now, (especially with Batman's heretofore unseen willingness to kill his opponents,) the film set a new standard for comic book filmmaking. Stylistically, Batman influenced the subsequent Dick Tracy film and the 1990 Flash TV series.

"I made you? Well, you made me!"

Marvel managed to film three movies in the late '80s and early '90s, (Punisher, Captain America and The Fantastic Four) but released none of them domestically. Punisher was released theatrically in pretty much every country except the US and Sweden. It had an estimated $9 million budget. It grossed about 1/6 that worldwide.

Round Four Scorecard (1980s)

If anything, DC did more harm to itself than Marvel did in competition.
DC continued to dabble in television with the Superboy TV series, the short-lived Flash (1990) series, and Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Marvel seemed to focus on the animated adventures of the X-Men.
In my opinion, DC seemed to experience much more brand success with television than Marvel did from the '70s on.

Round Five (1990s)

Marvel released Dolph "No Skull Logo" Lundgren's Punisher in 1989 everywhere on the planet but the USA, and then failed to theatrically release The Fantastic Four and Captain America. From late 1988 on, there were always rumors of big-screen Spider-Man films, X-Men films, Fantastic Four films... but they were always rumors. Captain America finally went direct-to-video. (For the record, I have subjected myself to all of the aformentioned works, good, bad and ugly.)
Admittedly, Marvel did begin a trilogy of semi-superhero/semi-vampire Blade movies in 1998, but still I see DC really controlling the majority of the marbles through this era.

It is SO NOT Clobberin' time!

DC continued to release Batman movies, but those reached a critical mass when George Clooney (Bat-nipples and all) was the last actor in the decade to portray the Dark Knight.
DC also launched The Flash, but unfortunately it ran against the television juggernaut of The Simpsons. John Wesley Shipp's rendition of the Flash was solid, but the show was somewhat weak in the writing department, and ultimately, even an incredible performance by Mark Hammil as the Trickster was not enough to earn the show a second season.

Round 5 (1990s) Scorecard

DC decidedly won this round across all media forms, but mostly because they were the only company doing anything.

Round 6 (2000s)

Making a licensed superhero movie is a complex and challenging process. It takes years from resolving character rights to people wondering if there's a post-credits teaser. There's writing, rewriting, casting, costuming, filming, post-production, looping, and all the other arcane things that make words on paper become eye-popping spectacular extravaganzas. It's easy for me retroactively to "armchair executive produce" these shows and quickly scribble out how a new age of superheroic storytelling veritably exploded onto the scene and screens starting with X-Men in 2000.

We're off to see the wizard... Excelsior!

To the credit of all writers, producers, directors, actors and actresses, key grips, gaffers and the poor schmoes who have to sweep spilled popcorn from the floor in the 40 minutes between showings, I appreciate what you do. But ultimately, I just want you all to take my money and entertain the living (profanity) out of me.
In the first decade of the 21st century, Marvel's characters (split between three production companies, making them mutually exclusive and crossovers nigh-impossible) came out swinging.
Professor Xavier's gifted youngsters were the first of the millennial superheroes (followed by about fifteen thousand sequels and spin-offs.) Marvel didn't just flood the market with mutants. Spider-Man (and his sequels,) The Fantastic Four (and sequel,) Daredevil (with sort-of-nonsequitur follow-up Elektra,) and the lesser-known Ghost Rider rounded out the decentralized universe. Iron Man (and sequel,) the Hulk, (and semi-sequel,) also set the groundwork for the so-called "Phase One" of the contiguous Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU,) tied together by appearances by Nick Fury or Agent Coulson. Despite stumbling at the blocks a few times, Marvel's decentralized movie franchise started to find its footing and (especially with the official continuity of the MCU and its Phase One (pre-Avengers) movies.) Marvel really started to gain traction and a gigantic fan-following.
...And it wasn't just the hardcore lifelong collectors who were watching these shows. Suddenly, self-identified comic nerds like me were forced to stand in line with (...ugggh...) people who proudly watched Twilight and High School Musical waiting to see Tony Stark blow up bad guys. Even worse, we had to share theatres with thousands of fans who'd never read a comic in their collective lives.
As the decade marched on, DC countered with the Batman reboot (and sequel,) the Superman ret-con, a little know and much-beloved Watchmen and (I'm sure I'm not the only one who remembers,) Jonah Hex.

But doctor, I'm Pagliacci...

On the small screen, Marvel's presence was limited to various animated series, while DC gave Superman a re-re-re-reboot in the form of Smallville. The wildly-popular show depicted young Clark Kent developing his powers and morals while solving murder mysteries on a weekly basis. These mysteries piled up as every third person in this small Kansas town somehow became superpowered. Smallville also introduced several DC superheroes to the television pantheon.

Round Six (2000s) Scorecard

While Marvel was the proverbial 800lb gorilla in the comics-publishing arena, DC definitely had them on the ropes in the realm of broadcast and motion pictures. In Round Six—aside from the success of the Batman films—Marvel definitely commanded the first decade of the new millennium theatrically. While the 'House of Ideas' controlled popcorn sales, DC began to boldly explore its Smallville continuity by introducing more and more familiar faces from everyone’s comic books.
In Round Six, Marvel's theatrical projects raked in a lot cash, and Stan Lee achieved even more fame as everyone began playing a movie-by-movie variation on "Where's Waldo?"
No matter how hard it tries, a single television show cannot stand up to blockbuster after block buster. If it weren't for Batman Begins, The Dark Knight (and, yes, Superman Returns,) I'd call this strictly Marvel's decade, but in the end, I think it is more of a draw.

"Come on, DC! Bring it!"

Perhaps the biggest difference is that the Dark Knight and Watchmen universes were absolutely incompatible with anything else DC was trying to do.

Pre-Fight Hype Buildup
Back in 1938, DC was really the first publisher to deliver superhero books with Action Comics #1 in 1938 and subsequently Detective Comics #27 in 1939.
Marvel followed suit shortly thereafter, with Marvel Comics and Captain America Comics in 1940. However, in the fifties, superhero books started to wane and the price of publishing started to increase. Soon, DC was left alone in the superhero biz, and Marvel focused on publishing Westerns, Sci-Fi books and Romance comics.
So, when, in 1961, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby cranked out Fantastic Four #1, they were, ostensibly, the new kids on the block (again.) It didn't take long for the birth of the so-called "Marvel Age" of comics, thrusting Marvel into the limelight with the idea of "Superheroes outside your windows." Rather than telling stories about superheroes in such fantastic places as Metropolis, Gotham, Central City and Coast City, most Marvel heroes gravitated to New York.
Before long, Marvel began outstripping its competition with its pulp renditions of all things mutant, cosmic and scientifically-enhanced.
Now on to the main event.

Round Seven (2010s)

The third installment in the Dark Knight trilogy was DC's first film in the new decade followed soon thereafter with a re-re-re-re-reboot of Superman with Man of Steel. (Note: DC's newest take on Superman was the first acknowledgment of DC's "New 52" universe (ie: no red trunks.) Now as DC begins to unwind this "New 52/Convergence Continuity" it will be intriguing to see how it affects DC's Cinematic Universe.)
DC continues to build steam (and hype) with a huge groundswell of support from the moderately obscure (but fan-favorite) Suicide Squad as well as the much-anticipated sequel to Man of Steel in the form of Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. If everything works out, DC will crank out films for the rest of this decade, giving the Justice League characters (Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, Shazam and possibly the Green Lantern) solo films in anticipation of a Justice League movie.
On the face of it, cinematically, DC has bitten off a lot, but they seem to think everything will eventually be chewed and digested.
DC has brought out the big guns both on the big screen and on the small screen.
After Smallville ran its course, DC flexed its TV Universe muscles and brought us Arrow, followed shortly by a spinoff series in a rebooted Flash which included several nods to the original series, including John Wesley Shipp (the 1990 Flash) and Mark Hammil (The Trickster from the 1990 series.) DC also gave us Gotham, a sort of Batman prequel series, similar to Smallville. (This leads me to ask: How many times are we going to watch Thomas and Martha Wayne get murdered?)

"Tomorrow" can't come soon enough!

With this pending season, we can expect DC to give Supergirl a second chance (hoping that 31 years is long enough for people to forget Helen Slater’s incarnation of the character.) And, not to appear too restful, DC will also launch a mid-season CW series called Legends of Tomorrow, featuring a motley assortment of characters from Arrow and The Flash. (Also, within the Flash continuity, there are several more superhero and supervillain embryos awaiting activation.)
Marvel rode a lot of momentum into the current decade cinematically, giving us Thor, Captain America: TheFirst Avenger, and The Avengers. As the MCU expanded, they started to introduce more and more characters to the ever-growing cast of characters. Thor and Cap got sequels paving the way for the second Avengers film. MCU gave a less-known group Guardians of the Galaxy screen time, and knocked it out of the park. After Thor: Lost World, Captain America: The WInter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron, the MCU expanded further, offering us Ant-Man, with some teasers about the upcoming Doctor Strange, Captain America: Civil War and Thor: Ragnarok. Marvel is also gearing up for a two-part Avengers movie dealing with Thanos. (Additionally, the Guardians will get a second romp in a few years.)

"I am Groot!"

Over at Sony, Spidey got a reboot as The Amazing Spider-man and its sequel launched into the world’s subconscious. Andrew Garfield’s Spider-man added a new dimension to the character, but for whatever reason, Sony decided to give Garfield the boot before he achieved a bona fide trilogy. The second film was ostensibly dedicated solely to killing off Gwen Stacy. Ironically, while Sony is ready to give another actor the web-spinners, the house of rumors has suggested the newly-popular “Spider-Gwen” is being considered for production.
Over at Fox, there were a dozen-or-so X-Men films, with Days of Future Past being one of the better X-Films produced. They also gave Wolverine a second movie, based loosely upon the Frank Miller limited series, and X-Men: First Class which sort-of addressed the fifty year history of the franchise. Fox also decided to give the Fantastic Four another spin, but it received mixed reviews. At the last second, the studio decided not to offer it 3D rendering, but there is still a sequel discussion. However, Fox also green-lighted a Deadpool movie after a wildly popular leak of test footage with (former Deadpool/Green Lantern) Ryan Reynolds voicing the character. Based upon the millions of You Tube views of the trailers, it is entirely likely that this film will be a blockbuster, even if it’s not good.
On the TV side of things, Marvel launched Agents of SHIELD, followed by a six-part limited prequel series Agent Carter. As Agents of SHIELD enters its third season, Agent Carter has been given the go-ahead for a full season and supposedly there is another AOS spinoff in the works focusing on some of the super-powered SHIELD agents from the series.
Marvel also launched a TV/internet Daredevil series, which will soon have a second season. At this time, there is also talk of a Punisher Netflix series as well.

"No, I didn't see the movie! I'm blind!"

For a nerd like me, this is a perfect time to enjoy televised and cinematic releases, bringing my favorite characters to life.

Round Seven Scorecard (Incomplete)

It’s safe to say that DC controls the televised exploits of some of my favorite heroes, while Marvel is still learning to fly in the same genre.
For the last five years, Marvel has controlled the cinematic exploits of some of my favorite heroes, while DC is still learning to fly in the same genre.
For Round seven, it’s been a thrill ride, and ultimately, the winner is…

Going for the Kirby look here...

US!

The comic-collecting, movie-loving world population. As long as these studios keep producing quality products, we will be an happy mass of movie-goers and TV watchers.