PETOSKEY, Mich.--Late Friday night, Michigan resident Ralph McChoggan was spending a little bit of his bingo winnings with a late night snack at The Lucky Eagle Fur Casino Resort deli.
McChoggan had just purchased the $5 special 'cheezy tots' and corn dog platter, with complimentary Pepsi, when he accidentally inhaled a whole cheesy tot while coughing.
Luckily, a quick-thinking deli employee immediately called a medical emergency to the security department, who were able to use the Heimlich maneuver to get the tot unstuck from the man's throat.
Area residents were stunned the following day when neither President Barack Obama nor Democratic candidates Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton made any mention of the incident.
"We kind of thought that somebody would say something," said casino Security Director Hans Auff. "Either to complement us on our good work, or talk about the hazards of 'cheezy tots.'"
Local republican committee spokesman Ben Derrbaforr was even more insulted.
"You know full well that if the guy had choked on a gun, we would have heard all about it from the Democrats screaming about gun control," Derrbaforr said. "But a potato grown in the democratically run state of Washington? No. Not a peep."
Troy "Spudz" Groveland, an Idaho potato grower, had more on that subject.
"You know if them spuds was grown here in Idaho, they'da bombed us by now," he said.
To make matters worse, when the subject was brought up with both presidential candidates, and the current president, not a single one of them said they knew about it all.
"These are in the people who want to run our country?" Auff asked. "Get real."
Republican candidate Ted Cruz was asked where he stood on the subject of people choking on potatoes.
"I am 100% against people choking on potatoes," Cruz said sympathetically.
McChoggan, a lifelong Democrat, received a complimentary night's stay at the resort's hotel and two buffet comps. He refused to comment on Obama's lack of compassion.
"I ain't surprised," Auff said. "Probably a welfare dad looking for a free meal."
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